Monday 9 January 2012

still unanswered but

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Throughout my journey in Nepal, I witnessed and went past many people, including both Nepalis and foreign backpackers, who are making their dreams/hopes come true. Some of them are living in a situation which is comparatively difficult than mine but they were still trying to live the life which they wish to live. It wasn't all about being "successful", but finding much more satisfaction and appreciation in what they have.

I also had a feeling of gulit everytime I came back from the countries which are less developed than mine. I was always feeling coufused and trying to find how I should stand in my society after seeing many difficult situations in such countries although I was hardly making any effort to change something in my life, to my shame.

The trip in Nepal, however, has given me a hint for that question; I should simply appreciate the life and society I live in, not asking for too much of anything, but live the best of what I can with what I have. This may sound pretty ordinary but I feel that I finally understood it with true feeling for the first time.

「心の外に理はなく、心の外に物はない。すべては心の中にある。」

自分自身が人生そのもの、世界だということ。

ひとつ踏み出して、またひとつ確信した。

Fill me up until the last, India

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Dhobi Ghat, Mumbai in India

On the bus, 90 minutes

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"Let there be spaces in your togetherness, and let the winds of the heavens dance between you Love one another,but make not a bond of love
Let it rather be a moving sea between the shores of your souls
Give your hearts,
but not into each others' keeping
For only the hand of Life can contain your hearts
And stand together yet not too near together
For the pillars of the temple stand apart,and the oak tree
and the cypress grow not in each others' shadow "

— Khalil Gibran

Pashupatinath

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Nagarkot, 31 December

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Hold me tight when I get home

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turning

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I didn't expect that I could fly again within the year. Afterglow of summer in Rajasthan was still holding some parts of myself in India, and most surprisingly I almost felt no euphoric feeling this time which used to be overflowing from my heart every time I set out for new destination. It is quite sad to acknowledge this fact but I just want to believe that it is because my life has become much more close to the world, or it has indeed become a part of me.

Feeling that change in my passion, however, I've slowly begun to understand how fragile and volatile our feelings are. Even what I had been thinking as my most passion cannot stay as the same. Honestly I'm so scared to witness that in me but at the same time I'm more and more gaining trust in my own will because I knew that one's will can even give a permanence to ephemerals.

so I left for Nepal.